


a break in the ice

by kanyewesevans



Category: Dangan Ronpa - All Media Types
Genre: Alcohol, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Panic Attacks, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-22
Updated: 2020-02-22
Packaged: 2021-02-28 05:33:46
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,626
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22844884
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kanyewesevans/pseuds/kanyewesevans
Summary: It's been way too long since they escaped the school, yet here he is, acting like he had just escaped last week. Why? What triggered this all of a sudden? He never behaved like this in the killing game, but ever since he left, he would occasionally find himself having panic attacks over the faintest of hints of the events. Much more frequent were they shortly after leaving, but they dwindled over the years and he can't even remember when he last had one of these attacks, surely it had to have at least been a year.
Relationships: Naegi Makoto/Togami Byakuya
Comments: 2
Kudos: 141





	a break in the ice

**Author's Note:**

> uhhh i wrote this slightly out of spite lmao. but either way this has been like, my main danganronpa ship for literal years and i never really made content for it since i was more wrapped up with my dr ocs to actually pay attention to canon characters.
> 
> writing out their first names was a bit of an issue since i've only ever referred to them by their last names, so if you see a stray "naegi" or "togami" where it doesn't fit, that's why LOL
> 
> takes place years after dr3 so mentions of spoilers for that.

Byakuya has stood in one place for much too long at this point, talking to person after person after person after...It was tiring to say the least, but he can't really complain. This is his role at this party after all. The company has finally reached a point where it is comparable to what it was before the Tragedy, and to celebrate, some of the other higher-ups convinced him to throw a company party. Only employees and their partners are allowed entry, but even then, the ballroom is packed. Basically _every_ employee was there, and if they had a romantic partner, they were there too. He's honestly surprised they managed to fill the ballroom, let alone pack it like this. It makes him feel powerful, almost, to not only pull the company out of the darkness, but also to make it prosper so well. So many who were aware of the struggles Byakuya went through to rebuild the Togami company sought him out to ask questions, but it was just the same question every time, just from someone new.  
  
"It's amazing how you pulled through and made such a successful comeback in the current world, in just five years!" Some woman was grabbing onto his arm excitedly, maybe a little too excitedly. It almost felt like she was...flirting with him? Is this one of his employees? "How did you do it so well?"  
  
He took a sip of his drink, some fancy champagne another higher-up insisted on getting. He wasn't really one for alcohol, but tonight was special, and he needs something to help him deal with all of the people bugging him. It was way too much for him. He's not drunk, maybe nearing tipsy, but it definitely is helping him.  
  
"I worked hard for it." He paused, thinking. He's been saying the same thing all night and it's starting to get lost on him. "It wouldn't have been possible without the efforts of the Future Foundation, however." There we go. That's what the last line was.  
  
"My my! It must be nice to have such a formidable company backing you too! I don't doubt at all that the Togami Conglomerate will succeed far into the future!" Her hand graces his chest and he has half the mind to not push her away, instead he simply grabs her wrist and moves it back to his arm or, wherever away from a more intimate place.  
  
In the distance, he hears someone giggling over a joke and the hair on the back of his neck stands straight. He glances around the room, quickly, trying not to make himself apparent. Is the room suddenly stuffy? The girl on him is still talking but he's tuned her out to take care of a more important matter.  
  
 ** _Where is that bear?_**  
  
Surely, that was not what he heard, he could convince himself of that- it's been five years with no incident since that final killing game, they have managed to erase every remnant of despair since, there hasn't even been any signs of something potentially starting up again. He hears the laugh again and tenses up, bringing attention at least from the girl.  
  
"-gami-sama? Togami-sama?" Her voice brought him back to the ground, but he still felt like he was suffocating. "Are you alright? You look startled all of a sudden."  
  
"I'm fine." He brushes her off, carefully untwining her arms from around him. "If you'll excuse me." He began to walk away, ignoring how odd people were looking at him. He passed his glass to a nearby waiter and made a beeline to the closest exit. Thankfully, the ballroom was on the ground floor of the building, so making his way to their miniature garden was easy. It wasn't anything special, just a small yard with a tree and flowers around it, but it was outside and that's where he needed to be. He made his way to the bench to sit down and focus his breathing.  
  
It's been way too long since they escaped the school, yet here he is, acting like he had just escaped last week. Why? What triggered this all of a sudden? He never behaved like this _in_ the killing game, but ever since he left, he would occasionally find himself having panic attacks over the faintest of hints of the events. Much more frequent were they shortly after leaving, but they dwindled over the years and he can't even remember when he last had one of these attacks, surely it had to have at least been a year.  
  
He kept his eyes glued to the door, as if it would suddenly lock from the inside and the building would fall into chaos. It can't, he knows that. Instead, the door opens and Makoto Naegi enters the garden. Byakuya is taken off guard by this, obviously startling. Something in his body telling him to _run_ , but it's just Makoto, there's nothing to run _from_. Makoto looks around for a moment before spotting him and begins to walk over, offering a worried smile. He takes a seat next to him.  
  
"So you are out here." He places a hand on top of his. "People were saying you walked out here in a hurry, someone even sought me out to tell me." Byakuya is silent, staring a hole into Makoto's face with a furrowed brow. His hand is starting to shake and Makoto notices, taking his hand off. "Are you alright?"  
  
Byakuya opens his mouth, then closes it, turning back to look at the building. "It's been...five years..." He speaks with a harsh tone, one that he hasn't used around the other in a very long time. Makoto blinks in surprise, sitting back a little bit. "Five years and yet I'm here, needing to remove myself from a building I know to be safe, all because I heard a peculiar laugh in the distance." He scowls.  
Makoto hums, then moves himself to sit closer to Byakuya, replacing his hand on top of the other's. "Haven't had one of these attacks in a while, huh?" Byakuya shakes his head, then feels Makoto's head rest on his shoulder. "It's good you were able to remove yourself to calm down. Sometimes I have to live with that feeling for the next hour while I'm in a meeting."  
  
Byakuya's expression softens, looking down to him. "Ah...you work in the school, that's right." He tilts his own head to rest against Makoto's. "I can hardly handle the feeling now as it is, with how often you must have these..." His mind is starting to clear, memories of Makoto coming home talking about his attacks at work coming to mind. "I apologize, I must sound patronizing with how I speak of this around you."  
  
"It's fine, don't worry about it. It...sucks a lot but I always have Kyoko to rely on at work, then you to rely on when I get home. Plus, it's better these days." He speaks softly, pulling Byakuya's hand onto his lap to hold. "You just don't have as many triggers around you as I do."  
  
He's silent for a second, finally taking a moment to hold Makoto's hand as well. "It's still just as suffocating as it was when we left."  
  
"Crazy, isn't it? It's like you're back there and living in fear that you'll be offed next." Makoto's voice is soft, he rubs his thumb in circles on the back of Byakuya's hands. "But you're not. You're right here. Safe."  
  
Safe...He's safe. He closes his eyes, attempting to remove himself from the situation. "You went through this twice...What right do I have to be panicking?"  
  
Makoto lifts his head slightly to look up at his fiance. "Every right. Just because you only went through one doesn't mean you didn't face that trauma." He squeezes his hand. "You were just as there as the rest of us were."  
  
"Still..."  
  
"No 'still,' you have a right to be panicked." Makoto sits up straight again, carefully guiding Byakuya to rest on his shoulder this time. "And you have a right to be comforted."  
  
Byakuya opens his eyes, looking down. "Perhaps I've just had too much to drink." He mumbles, more to himself than Makoto.  
  
"Do you wanna head home?"  
  
"It would be in bad nature for the company head to leave early at his own party, don't you think?" Byakuya lifts his head finally, looking down at his fiance. "I don't think I could if I wanted to."  
  
The door to the garden opens again, a distressed employee coming out into the garden. "Togami-sama? Are you out here?"  
  
Byakuya jumps at the voice, the panic attack that he had thought faded coming back full force. Why is there distress? Why is his name being called? Makoto furrows his brow, watching Byakuya stand up much too quickly and letting go of his hand, following the voice with his eyes.  
  
"Yes? May I ask what's wrong?" Byakuya's voice is steady, at least if you didn't know him too well. Makoto frowns, taking his fiance's hand again, trying to ease him to sit down again. He doesn't, however, and stays standing at attention, free hand reaching to his pocket in case he needs to call for help-  
  
The employee sighs, distress leaving. "Okay, okay...People were getting worried since both you and Naegi-sama disappeared." They place a hand over their heart. "Are you two alright?"  
  
Byakuya looks dumbfounded, at least to Makoto. His free hand slacks, going straight again as he sits again. Makoto offers a smile to the employee. "Yes, we were just needing a breath of fresh air, though I think we might just head home. It's been a long night."  
  
"Ah, alright. I'll let the people who need to know know, then." They return the smile, then return inside. They watch them go in, then Makoto turns to Byakuya, frowning again. Byakuya placed his free hand on Makoto's as well, just nodding a little.  
  
"You're right, we..." If they leave, what if something _does_ start? And it's all because they left? Would this cause a killing game? All because a perfectly planned panic attack? Then they'll be tried by the Future Foundation and th-  
  
"We should leave. You'll be calmer at home." Makoto placed his own free hand on Byakuya's and squeezes, smiling again at him. "The party will be fine. I'll call the chauffeur." He removes his free hand again, but keeps the other with Byakuya as he pulls his phone out of his pocket.  
  
"The party will be fine..." Byakuya nods, quietly repeating Makoto's reassurance.

* * *

The ride home is quiet, but slowly becoming comfortable by the time they get home. Once in their home, Makoto makes sure to lock the door before making his way to the kitchen. Byakuya simply follows him, not wanting to be alone. Makoto sets a kettle of water on the stove, then takes Byakuya's hand, leading him to the bedroom. He sets the taller man on the bed and starts to carefully undress him.  
  
"Something I find that helps me is making sure I don't feel claustrophobic. Suits have an amazing talent of giving you that feeling." He pulls his blazer off, carefully folding it and setting it beside him before starting on his tie. "Though I can't go much further than removing my blazer and loosening my tie a bit while at work, haha."  
  
Byakuya keeps his arms at his sides, hands clutching the bedsheets. He doesn't remember the last time he felt this...helpless and pliable by someone. "Thank you, Makoto." His tie is removed and also set aside.  
  
"Of course, hun." Makoto smiles. "You can change on your own from here, I assume?" Byakuya nods, starting to unbutton his own shirt. The kettle starts to whistle, taking them both off guard for but a second. "Alright, I'll go get you some tea then~"  
  
Byakuya watches him leave the room as he starts to undo his belt, slumping back a little. What did he do to deserve a partner as loving as Makoto? He pauses his undressing, resting his arms on his legs, looking down. That fucking laugh, all it took was that _one_ sound to completely ruin his night and it wasn't even the fault of the owner to that laugh, so he can't even place any blame.  
  
Makoto enters the room again with two mugs, but quickly places them down when he sees Byakuya. "You alright? Surely you can't be comfortable still half dressed?" And with his belt only partly undone, but he feels that comment might be a little out of place right now, even if it is true.  
  
He looks back up, catching Makoto's gaze and frowns. "...I'm fine." He looks away, towards the mugs on the bedside table. "Just got caught up in my thoughts."  
  
Makoto smiles a little. "That happens a lot with these attacks too." He hums, kneeling to finish pulling his fiance's belt off, then taking all of the garments off the bed to place elsewhere. "Would you like your pajamas?" There's no response, but he turns towards their wardrobe to grab them anyways. He brings them over to Byakuya, setting them beside him. He's sure he'd at least want to get redressed on his own. Byakuya slowly moves to continue undressing, prompting Makoto to start on removing his own suit.  
  
Once the two were both redressed in their pajamas (Makoto in an old shirt of Byakuya's and Byakuya in a set of pajamas that Makoto bought him a few years back for Christmas), Makoto got his fiance to relax in bed with their tea. Makoto rested against Byakuya, which the other immediately accepted. He wasn't sure what position the other would've wanted for cuddling, but his gut instinct was right, at least for now as he settled against Byakuya's chest. Byakuya's heart was just slightly faster than usual, indicating his attack hasn't quite passed yet. Byakuya himself was quiet, sipping his tea slowly while watching his phone like a hawk. Makoto frowned after a few minutes of just...this. He pushes the arm holding the phone down, looking up at Byakuya.  
  
"They'll be fine. If you want to talk through your worries, I'm here." He squeezes Byakuya's arm, feeling it lax at the motion. Byakuya looks down at him a moment, then shakes his head.  
  
"I'm sure you can guess my worries." He finishes his tea, setting the mug on the bedside table next to Makoto's.  
  
"Sure I can, but talking it out can help you." Byakuya shakes his head again.  
  
"No, I'll be fine." He slides down the bed slightly more to actually be laying down, wrapping his arm around Makoto, trying to bring him closer. "I should just rest."  
  
Makoto nods, lifting his head off of Byakuya so he can reach up, planting a soft kiss on his lips, lingering a moment just to let him return the kiss before relaxing again. "If I pass out before you and you still need me awake, don't be afraid to wake me up, okay?" Byakuya hesitates. "I won't be mad, I'm never mad if it's for you."  
  
"...Of course." Byakuya mumbles, glancing to Makoto. "I love you."  
  
"I love you too, Byakuya." Makoto looks up at him again, drowsiness starting to show through in both of their eyes.

* * *

When Byakuya falls asleep, he still feels that panic, but when he wakes up, he can only remember the feeling when he finds that Makoto has shifted to big spoon overnight. He has just a slight headache from the alcohol and doesn't even fight the sleep that returns to him. The fact that there didn't seem to be any emergency overnight allowing him to completely relax.

**Author's Note:**

> they're only fiances cause i felt like togami would want to take it slow.
> 
> uhh follow me @kanyewesevans/@makahatsune on twitter for more dangnaronpa content


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